How WhatsApp will end all sexual relationships

I leave you this article taken from the GQ magazine, HIGHLY recommended

Let's say you met Paqui in the 80s. 

Paqui studies nursing at the Complutense, lives with her parents and laughs, covering her teeth with her hand. You have seen her in a bar in Malasaña and you have approached her. You ask him if he studies or works. This is how you find out that he is studying nursing at Complutense. You make out, you like it, you ask him for the phone number, and since he also likes you, he gives it to you. Paqui stops leaving the house for a couple of days (but only a couple, which has not yet aired 'Sex and the City' and you have no idea of ​​strategy) because she stays to wait for you to call her at her home. parents. You meet for an ice cream and stroll through El Retiro. You are getting married. You are moderately happy.

Let's say you meet Laura in the mid-90s. 

You are in a downtown bar and she drinks Licor 43 with a cola with her friends from the office. You are a JASP attorney and that is why you came in your Clio. You release two chicks from the last chapter of 'Friends' that you have both seen. You have casual sex in the not so wide back of your Clio JASP. You like You exchange mobile phones. She keeps dating and randomly and casually sleeping with other guys until she gets your message in two weeks (because you've seen 'Sex and the City' and you know you have to make yourself beg). It has not stayed at home because with the mobile it is located. You lie down a couple more times and you see that it works. You are getting married. You are moderately happy even though she slept with others since she met you. You only find out about this on your deathbed. You curse it, but it soon passes.

Let's say you met Vane in 2008 on the terrace of a central Madrid hotel.

It is a pleasant summer night. She is community manager and you work in human resources of a company random. "This Internet is the future," you agree. The "in your house or in mine" ends up taking you to his. In the morning you leave in a hurry before asking for the phone number because the plumber is going to go home and he gives you a chance to wake her up. You liked it, so you look for it on Facebook and it appears by calling vane1981@hotmail.com. The Vane you add is not the one you slept with, but after two months of chat you realize that you are meant for each other. You get married and every anniversary you watch Fincher's 'The Social Network' with wine and candles. You are moderately happy until the other Vane finds you on Facebook one day telling you that if you had asked for the phone you could have done very well.

Let's say you met Marta last weekend. 

You tell her a couple of marine jokes about 'Alaska and Mario' and she jovially asks if you have WhatsApp. "Sure, I'm an iPhone guy," you smile. "Oh my, what a nice phone," she says, pulling out the same device, albeit an outdated edition, a lack that seems to her vintage and that still supplies with its pink casing. You wind up like your previous alter egos have done in this optimistic string theory in which seems that you always win. Looks because now things change. Because WhatsApp will only bring you pain, death and destruction.

I explain:

With postal letters, telegraph cables, phone calls, damn it, even with emails, you continue to breed. If not, neither you who read nor I who write this would be making the strange cultural transaction that concerns us right now. I cannot sociologically question the enabling messenger pathways that have kept us humans in touch (and 'in touch') until now. But what of WhatsApp yes, the WhatsApp thing has just started and it doesn't have to be good. Now only the dawn promises that it will be ademon tool, With the gratuity of a phone call associated with a flat rate and the slavery typical of long afternoons concentrated in front of a wheel phone that you mentally invoke until its horrible ring - now vintage also- announces that she finally wants to talk to you. Who thinks of you

WhatsApp, he said, is loaded by the devil because from its entry into play everything can be morerigh now, in the manner of a computer chat, but also much more surprisingly cruel.

I propose several unfavorable scenarios when it comes to mobile courtship:

1. How to stop talking. You always have to make up something shady. What "I have something in the fire"(and you don't know how to cook), "I have to go out to buy bread" (and it's 3 in the morning), "I'm going to bed, I'm grinding" (and it's 8 in the afternoon) or «I'll leave you, my mother just made me a snack » (and you're an orphan). Calibrate your lies, because a resignation can be synonymous with withdrawal of speech. It's not that you don't want to keep talking, it's that life goes on and the WhatsApp managed by a talkative woman is a vortex that can swallow one's life. A bottomless hurricane. The Bermuda Triangle.

2. That they ignore you and know you are ignored. You put something hot. She is offline. You look at the screen 10 times every minute, and water. Finally, after three hours, it appears as connected. You expect its status to mutate to Typing so that it gives you something even more risque, but it will not be strange to read it and leave it for another time (people have life) With how free it was to answer you. By SMS latencies were better because there was no acknowledgment of receipt. Here a no answer voluntary is like getting splinters stuck under your nails.

3. Infidelity. We don't recommend it, but it happens.

INTERIOR KITCHEN DAY

An iPhone left to its fate on the table while you shower, sounding like a steamroller in an equation that also includes your curious girlfriend and who insists, can be a source of trouble.

It has happened to you.

The temptation to snoop is great and WhatsApp, which shows your recent messages as a welcome mask, indiscreet.

4. Social horror. You meet a young woman to drink the typical beer on the typical terrace of those in which they put typical fries in a round, small, white and normal plate. So far everything is normal. But it turns out that suddenly she has a friend in trouble because her boyfriend left her or because a nail has been broken or because she has been diagnosed with a very harmless but very rare disease. And they tell you about it on WhatsApp while you watch life go by. You check your email, you check the girls passing by, you play poker online and you even win the world series. And she give him that I hit you, with her tongue sticking out as if trying to tighten a screw and typing really heartless words of comfort. For what they could have arranged with an hour on the phone, they spend three hours sending each other messages. And then your reed is hot. And, obviously, you are to blame.

5. Desperate inexperience. And then there are those that write to you slowly with the iPhone because it is a mobile with small keys that does not always register fingerprints well, turning the experience of people with blood sausage fingers into a trial-error that despairs and is fed up. And that almost never ends in moderate end (not remote) happy mind.

And for all this, I recommend going back to the shoe and the abacus.